


Of Nightmares and Longing

by dietcokeenthusiast



Series: Her Teacher, Her Emperor [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, F/F, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Pining, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 00:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20034706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dietcokeenthusiast/pseuds/dietcokeenthusiast
Summary: Edelgard von Hresvelg, heiress to the Adrestian Empire, knows she must put forth a strong, stoic image to Fodlan. When recurring nightmares strike, however, all she desires is comfort from a special someone. Will she allow herself to seek it?





	Of Nightmares and Longing

“NO!”

Edelgard sat up in bed suddenly in a cold sweat, breathing heavily/ She clutched her chest, right over that long, jagged scar on her sternum. Though her eyes made out the familiar shapes of her desk, her chair, her bookshelf in the dark, it hadn’t registered that she was there. In her mind, she was right back in that horrible place, her siblings suffering and crying out next to her, a masked figure approaching her with the knife once again…

“Bad dream…” she whispered to herself as she gasped for air. “Just a bad dream… you’re here now… in your bed… in your room… at the academy…” She closed her eyes, and took long, deep breaths in an attempt to steady them. After the first three, she was able to feel herself shaking less. Soothing herself after such horrible visions was an art she had become very well-practiced with.

She needed to be.

Once her trembling had mostly subsided, Edelgard got up from her bed, needing to get the sweat-soaked sheets off of her skin.  _ Air… some fresh air will do me good _ . She grabbed a ribbon to tie her hair back with from her desk, and pulled a fresh uniform out from her dresser. It was unlikely anyone would be awake, and she knew the one person she desperately hoped would be awake wouldn’t care, but she was still acutely aware of the image she was expected to project. Future empresses needed to look the part, even in the middle of the night, not ten minutes removed from night terrors.

As she made her way outside, the night air felt cooler on her damp skin than she anticipated, though it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. It, like the walk, was a distraction, and she needed that far more than anything else. She made her usual pass across the commoner dormitories, relief filling her as she passed each one without any encounters. All save that last door.

For a minute, Edelgard just stared at it. Occasionally she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. At one point it looked as though she might step forward, but then hesitated.  _ She stays out too late working anyways. What if this is the only time she’s had to herself to get some sleep? It would be inappropriate for a student to disrupt their professor like this regardless…. _

Edelgard sighed, her eyes still not leaving that door. She ran through a mental list of others she might go to. Hubert came to mind immediately, but while he knew and there was no question of his devotion, he wasn’t terribly skilled at being a comforting presence. Dorothea was sweet, but with her attitude towards the nobility being what it was, whatever Edelgard told her wasn’t likely to be kept in confidence. Petra was out of the question, as a potential future ally didn’t need to be burdened with the truth of such sordid affairs. Trying to pull Linhardt out of his sleep was a lost cause, Caspar was all too likely to blurt things out, Bernadetta would be panicked enough by a knock on the door in the day, let alone the night, and she didn’t even want to  _ think _ of how much worse Ferdinand would make things.

It had to be Professor Byleth. Not only did she know the truth of her past and her crest (Edelgard surprising herself with her willingness to reveal it), there was something about the woman’s presence that put her mind at ease.From the moment she stepped between her and that mercenary who surely would have cut her down, she had felt intrigued, in awe, and safe whenever she was around. Those feelings only developed as she came to the academy, and eventually became their professor. Though other students often chuckled about how stoic she was, wondering aloud if her heart even beat or if she was capable of smiling, Edelgard knew better. Byleth was hardly as flamboyant as others, but she didn’t need to be. The way she would raise her eyebrows in concern, smile slightly, and lean in when she wanted to hear someone did more to put her at ease and make her feel welcomed than any honeyed words or grand pontification about doors being open.

_ So why do I hesitate now? _

Deep down, she knew Professor Byleth wouldn’t have been bothered at all. That she would most likely invite her in, put on a pot of tea, and spend the entire night talking if that was what Edelgard needed.She’d offer understanding and gentle reassurances, and though she might chide her for being out so late, she’d do so with that enchanting smile-

_ No. Absolutely not. _

Taking a deep breath, Edelgard forced herself to turn away. Just what was she going to say if the door was answered?  _ Oh, good evening professor! I’m sorry to disrupt one of your few restful moments, but I had a nightmare, so could you please drop everything and comfort me _ ? No. It was unbecoming of the heiress of the Adrestian Empire. What did it say about her if she couldn’t even deal with such personal matters on her own? She needed to be stronger. She needed to be able to get past this on her own.

Edelgard paced to and from the door for a few moments, before finally taking a deep breath and heading for the stairs to the noble dormitories. She doubted sleep would find her tonight, but it would be better than just standing about in front of the door like some fool.

Still, as she took her first steps forward, she spared one last longing glance, hoping that the door might swing open.


End file.
